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October has a way of making murder feel almost romantic. Longer nights, colder air, and terrible things happening behind the windows of seemingly perfect homes. Except this time, our nightmare begins in a nightclub.
Sipping my iced Diet Coke, as per usual, I can’t help thinking how exhausting it is to be a woman. I’d love to believe there was a time when women were feared, worshipped, and treated like goddesses. Then again, men were literally burning them for being inconvenient. So much for the good old days.
Filthy rich. Devastatingly handsome. Possibly a monster.
When Natalie’s best friend, Cara, ends up in a coma after a night with a mysterious stranger, the trail leads straight to Geoffrey, a powerful millionaire with a spotless reputation. Natalie decides to investigate by becoming a housekeeper in his luxurious mansion. Naturally, there’s a missing maid, sinister rules, and enough red flags to decorate the entire property. She came looking for answers. She might have walked straight into a nightmare.
Now, nothing against Freida McFadden, but GOD, am I tired of the housekeeper trope. I had no idea this book was going there, and considering I’d just DNF’d Please Enjoy Your Stay because of yet another nanny situation, my patience was already hanging by a thread. But I love Iliana Xander, so here we are. The things we do for our favorite authors.
At first, things seemed promising. Natalie befriends Nick, who helps her get hired at Geoffrey’s mansion, while the other employees act like she’s voluntarily signed up for her own funeral. Julien and Rosalie clearly know something about the previous housekeeper, and when Geoffrey starts showing interest in Natalie, everyone loses their minds. And frankly? So did I.
The dynamics annoyed me, the endless crypto nonsense bored me to death, and Geoffrey’s big twist made me want to throw my Kindle across the room. I came for a fast-paced, deliciously twisted thriller. Instead, the pacing dragged, the characters irritated me, and the ending was the final nail in the coffin. The killer getting away? Absolutely not. And Luke? Don’t even get me started. Turns out the biggest mystery wasn’t who the monster was. It was why I kept reading.
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Hello, guys!
Since October is OCD Awareness Month, I thought it was finally time to talk about something a little more personal. Something that has been a huge part of my life, challenged me in ways I never imagined, and, strangely enough, taught me a hell of a lot about myself.
Anxiety, OCD, and the messy, beautiful business of recovery.
I’ve been dealing with anxiety since 2019. Or at least, that’s when I started recognizing it for what it was. After some therapy and a whole lot of self-reflection, I realized that anxiety had probably been hanging around my family for generations. My mom was anxious because that’s how my grandma raised her, and who knows what my grandma went through growing up?
And now, as I’m getting closer to recovery, I’ve even started noticing little moments of anxiety in my dad.
Don’t get me wrong. I have the best parents I could have asked for. But their parents weren’t always the best to them, and sometimes we inherit more than eye colors and bad habits. Sometimes we inherit fears nobody ever taught us how to handle.
Anyway, fast-forward through years of anxiety, countless panic attacks, irrational fears, and two unsuccessful attempts at therapy.
The first therapist was fresh out of school, and while everyone has to start somewhere, I needed someone with more experience. The second didn’t seem equipped to help me navigate what I was going through either. Neither was the right fit for me, and for a while, I genuinely wondered whether therapy was ever going to work.
Then came the plot twist nobody asked for: OCD.
More specifically, Harm OCD.
And before anyone gets the wrong idea, Harm OCD isn’t about wanting to hurt anyone. It’s about being terrified of intrusive thoughts that go against everything you believe in. It’s fear, doubt, and an exhausting need for certainty about things nobody can ever be 100% certain about.
By that point, my anxiety had started changing. The intense physical symptoms were becoming less frequent, but the intrusive thoughts? Oh, those little bastards had decided to move in permanently.
So I took the bull by the horns and gave therapy another chance.
Third time’s the charm, apparently.
This time, I found someone who actually understood OCD. Someone who knew about Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), how compulsions keep the cycle going, and why trying to fight every uncomfortable thought is often exactly what keeps us stuck.
And here we are, months later, with recovery finally feeling like something real instead of some impossible destination.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you that recovery is a magical moment when your brain suddenly becomes quiet and anxiety disappears forever. Because that’s not the point.
The point is learning that your brain can make all the noise it wants, and you can still go out and live your damn life.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that OCD isn’t a reflection of who you are. It’s a mental health condition maintained by patterns of fear, compulsions, avoidance, and the desperate search for certainty. And those patterns can change.
You don’t have to solve every thought. You don’t have to figure everything out. You don’t have to feel perfectly calm to enjoy your life.
And you definitely don’t have to wait until you’re anxiety-free to start living.
Recovery isn’t always linear. It can take time, and everyone has their own journey. But it is absolutely possible to build a life where OCD no longer calls the shots.
I also want to share some of the people and resources that genuinely changed the way I understand anxiety and OCD. I originally discovered some of them on TikTok, then went down the YouTube rabbit hole, and I’m so glad I did.
I’ll leave their channels below because I truly believe good information can make a difference. Of course, none of these replace proper treatment with a qualified professional, but they’ve been incredibly valuable alongside my therapy.
And if you’re reading this while struggling with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or OCD, here’s what I wish someone had told me years ago:
Stop making a perfectly quiet mind the price of a beautiful life.
Let the uncertainty exist. Let the anxiety come and go. Stop treating every thought like an emergency that needs solving.
Go read that book. Drink your coffee. Fall in love. Make plans. Laugh at stupid things. Do everything that matters to you, even when your mind is being an absolute drama queen.
Because recovery isn’t about never feeling afraid again.
It’s about realizing you can feel afraid and live anyway.
Live your lives, babes. There’s so much more to you than what happens inside your head.
https://www.youtube.com/@The-Mindful-Gardener
https://www.youtube.com/@MaggieSterling
https://www.youtube.com/@rootandresponse
https://www.youtube.com/@StarJesseTaylor
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Rival mafia heirs, forbidden obsession, and two men who have absolutely no business being this fucking addictive.
October reading has officially taken a deliciously dark turn, and Rina Kent is once again responsible for my questionable taste in fictional men.
Enter Vaughn and Yulian. Two heirs to rival mafia empires. Two boys raised to hate each other. Two walking red flags who somehow make every terrible decision look like the hottest thing imaginable.
Their story begins at fifteen, with a disastrous first encounter that somehow ends with them trapped together in a cave. Years later, tragedy has torn them apart, their families are still enemies, and the attraction between them has become downright criminal.
Now, I was initially annoyed that their story started so young because I thought I’d have to suffer through years of separation before getting to the good stuff. Especially after the masterpiece that was Kiss the Villain.
But never mind. Vaughn is nineteen when they reunite, and suddenly I’m eating my words and falling violently in love with these two idiots.
YULIAN. FUCKING. YULIAN.
This man does not give a single damn about consequences when Vaughn is involved. Family rivalry? Irrelevant. Potential destruction of everything he knows? Minor inconvenience. Vaughn breathing somewhere nearby? Apparently enough reason to abandon every rational thought.
And Vaughn? Oh, that infuriating little menace. The way he keeps ignoring Yulian while being so painfully, embarrassingly OBVIOUSLY obsessed with him? Sir, please. You’re fooling absolutely nobody.
And can we appreciate their second kiss happening while Gareth was probably busy blowing Kayden somewhere down the hall? Because I absolutely lost it. Rina giving us a little Kiss the Villain crossover while these two were making terrible decisions of their own? ICONIC.
But then.
THEY FINALLY HAVE SEX.
And good fucking God.
The tension, the desperation, the chemistry. Their first time together had me staring at the pages like I’d never read a dirty scene in my entire life. These two don’t simply want each other. They practically consume each other, and I was absorbing every word, every breath, every filthy little moment.
And just when I thought they’d finally stop running, guess who suddenly develops a talent for emotional avoidance?
YULIAN.
Because apparently chasing your enemy, risking everything, and sleeping with him is perfectly manageable. But actually falling in love?
Absolutely fucking terrifying.
And I LOVED that. The way their relationship shifts from pure physical obsession into something much deeper, something neither of them knows how to handle, had me completely hooked.
Now, I know it’s October and I should probably be reading haunted-house stories or something appropriately spooky. But honestly? My version of Halloween apparently includes emotionally damaged mafia heirs making out in questionable locations.
Besides, who doesn’t enjoy a creepy story told by someone they’re desperately attracted to, especially when you know they’re probably going to fuck afterward?
Exactly. My point.
That’s what I adore about dark romance. The adrenaline, the obsession, the delicious feeling that everything is about to go catastrophically wrong. And yet, underneath all that chaos, Hunt the Villain was surprisingly sweet. Vaughn and Yulian weren’t just ridiculously hot together. There was something genuinely tender about them, too.
And the Russians? Oh, don’t even get me started. Apparently, give me a dangerously devoted fictional Russian man, and every functioning brain cell I possess immediately resigns. The fictional good ones only, obviously.
I am so embarrassingly, catastrophically obsessed with Vaughn and Yulian.
Their banter. Their possessiveness. Their refusal to admit the obvious. EVERYTHING.
I genuinely think Rina Kent writes MM dark romance exceptionally well. The power struggles, the emotional vulnerability hidden beneath all that arrogance, the absolutely unhinged chemistry? I’m eating it up.
And don’t even get me started on Yuli and Mishka. I’m already so far gone for these men it’s becoming a personality trait.
I went into this convinced Kiss the Villain would be impossible to beat.
Well. Fuck me. I loved Hunt the Villain even more.
And considering how obsessed I was with that book, that should tell you everything.
Five stars. Zero regrets. An absolutely unhealthy level of obsession.
Rina Kent, you magnificent menace. What the hell am I supposed to read now?
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Well, this is embarrassing. Apparently, my very first Chevy Stevens novel started with a mystery of its own: what the hell was I actually reading?
Turns out, I spent the weekend reading Never Let You Go while fully convinced I was reading Dark Roads. Same author, completely different book. How does that even happen?
Anyway, Never Let You Go follows Lindsey Nash, who escapes an abusive marriage and builds a new life with her daughter, Sophie. Eleven years later, her ex-husband Andrew gets out of prison, strange things start happening, and suddenly the past isn’t quite as buried as she’d hoped.
Now, Jesus Christ. I actually started Dark Roads at work on Friday, got completely invested, and then went home, picked up my Kindle, and somehow continued with an entirely different book. I knew something felt off, but did I stop reading? Of course not. I finished the damn thing. You have no idea how pissed I am. Has this ever happened to anyone else?!
And the worst part? It’s a domestic thriller. My least favorite kind of thriller. The twists were painfully obvious halfway through, Lindsey apparently has the worst taste in men imaginable, and I spent most of the book waiting for something genuinely surprising to happen.
So yeah. Wrong book, predictable plot, questionable men, and a very annoyed reader.
I didn’t particularly enjoy this one. And somewhere out there, Dark Roads is still waiting for the review I was supposed to write.
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October is here, and somehow it’s still summer outside. The sun is shining, it’s warm, and I’m officially annoyed. I’ve started drinking hot coffee anyway because I refuse to let the weather dictate the season although I wish it was below freezing…
Usually, I have my October reads planned out weeks in advance, but this year? Absolutely nothing. So I’m just picking up whatever gives me the right vibe and calling it spooky season.
My Killer Vacation is basically: dead body, true-crime-obsessed teacher, grumpy bounty hunter on a motorcycle, and enough sexual tension to make the murder investigation worth sticking around for.
Taylor finds a corpse in her Cape Cod rental. Enter Myles, the grumpy-as-hell bounty hunter trying to catch the killer while keeping Taylor out of his investigation. Too bad she’s stubborn, brave, gorgeous, and apparently allergic to staying out of trouble.
Now they have a murder to solve… and an attraction neither of them planned for.
After Saving Noah nearly sent me into a full-blown existential crisis, I was really hoping this book would be sexual enough to keep my brain occupied elsewhere. And honestly? It delivered. The chemistry was great, the foreplay was written really well, and Myles — despite being a certified baddie — is also such a softie underneath it all. And I will always, ALWAYS choose hot and gentle. That man can be grumpy all he wants.
Now, as a thriller… girl.
It was so bad. I figured out who the killer was basically from the beginning, and somehow the whole murder investigation still managed to feel boring. Like, how do you have a dead body and a bounty hunter and still make me feel like I’m waiting for something to happen?
But as a romance? Actually pretty damn good.
I loved that Myles was a softie and a total yearner underneath all that grumpy behavior. And I especially loved how he trusted Taylor and let things happen between them without turning everything into a whole dramatic interrogation. No unnecessary bullshit, no “I can’t do this” for 300 pages. Just chemistry, attraction, and a man who knows how to be both hot and gentle.
So yeah… I semi-liked it.
The thriller? Please, let’s not talk about it.
The romance? Now we’re talking.
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When Noah is accused of a horrific crime, his parents will do anything to save him. But the closer they get to the truth, the more terrifying the question becomes: what if Noah is exactly who they fear he is?
When everyone told me this was a dark read, I went in expecting a thriller with hardcore action, shocking twists, and the kind of darkness that makes you want to look away. Honestly, I was expecting something completely different. I thought Noah was going to be making girls disappear, assaulting them, killing them — the kind of darkness I’m almost used to reading about.
Instead, this book was oddly restrained. And somehow, that made it so much more heartbreaking.
I wasn’t prepared for this story at all. I wasn’t prepared to feel this much for Noah, his mom, his sister… or even myself. I think Noah was completely, irrevocably sick, and there were things about him that were impossible to look past. But I could not stop crying. This wasn’t the kind of darkness that made me want to puke. It was bluntly, painfully sad.
And then there was his father. Lucas? Absolutely not. What an imbecile. A complete loser. I was expecting him to be exactly who I thought he was, and that final chapter gave me everything I needed to know about the kind of monster he was. Honestly, I still think he should have faced a little more punishment for what a moron he was and for how badly he failed Noah.
What surprised me most was that I kept thinking about Noah and his mom rather than the little girls. I don’t even know what that says about me. I kept wondering what I would feel if Noah were my child. Would I still love him? Could I ever forgive him? Could I even look at him the same way again? I genuinely don’t know.
I finished this book in about three hours, completely caught off guard and emotionally wrecked. And maybe I finally figured out my reading slump: I wasn’t in a reading slump. I was just reading all the wrong books.
I still don’t really know how I feel about this one.
Mostly, I feel sad.
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How is it October already and somehow it still feels like summer outside? The sun is shining, it’s way too warm, and I’m desperately waiting for that proper cold, gloomy autumn weather to finally show up. So I guess I’ll have to find my autumn somewhere else — and apparently, that somewhere is the Scottish Highlands.
Daybreak is the second and final book in the Nightshade duology, and we’re going straight back to Sorrowsong after everything that happened in the first book. Alex and Ophelia are separated, heartbroken, and very much not on good terms. He’s back in New York dealing with his family and the disappearance of his father, while she’s still in Scotland… alone and being watched.
And then someone starts threatening them with evidence of the murder they committed on campus.
Which means these two are going to have to find their way back to each other whether they’re ready for it or not.
Honestly, I was craving Scottish autumn, dark academia, old university buildings — although old universities currently make me want to throw up a little because apparently things like Cornell 7 exist — gloomy skies, secrets, obsession and maybe a little murder while I wait for October to actually start feeling like October outside.
Unfortunately… the atmosphere was probably one of the things I enjoyed most.
I definitely like Alex more than Ophelia. She spends a lot of this book suffering, while Alex is very much in his I would burn the world down for you / die for you / say every single thing you want a fictional man to say era. And listen, it worked. He says all the right things. He made me fall for him too, and he was easily my favorite part of this book.
But the actual story?
I genuinely don’t know if we needed a second book.
Yes, Ophelia has a new stalker, but that storyline felt more like a convenient way of keeping Alex and Ophelia apart for longer than something genuinely threatening. It was also pretty predictable, and the stalker came across as more jealous than terrifying. Considering it was obvious that Alex and Ophelia still desperately wanted each other, it sometimes felt like the book was just searching for reasons not to let them reconcile yet.
The bigger mystery surrounding Alex’s missing father — and the fact that someone clearly wants to hurt them — was much more interesting to me, but even that never developed into something exciting enough to carry the entire book.
The drawing-class scene, though?
Peak.
Loved it. No notes.
And because this is only a duology, I obviously wanted to finish it and see Alex and Ophelia get their ending. But wow, this book was boring. And somehow being bored by a short book is even worse. Don’t you hate when that happens? When you can literally see that there aren’t that many pages left and yet every chapter feels twice as long as it actually is?
I also really disliked how heavily the book leaned into the depression storyline. It added to the already repetitive feeling of the story rather than giving it more emotional depth for me. So much of Daybreak felt like the same emotions, the same problems and the same conversations going around in circles.
And then, after all of that build-up, the actual action lasted what felt like five minutes.
That was probably my biggest problem with the book: it spends so much time stretching everything out, only for the climax to be over ridiculously quickly. Then we get a cute, happy ending, everything gets wrapped up nicely, and… that’s it.
Which would have been fine if I had actually enjoyed getting there.
I didn’t.
What makes this even more disappointing is that Nightshade was a 5-star read for me. I loved the first book. I loved Sorrowsong, the dark academia atmosphere, the tension between Alex and Ophelia, the mystery — all of it. So going from that to struggling through the sequel is kind of insane.
Alex, you were cute. You said all the right things. You tried your best.
But you could not save this book for me.
I wanted Scottish autumn, obsession, murder and dark academia.
Instead, I mostly got repetition, depression, a predictable stalker and approximately five minutes of actual action.
And yes, the happy ending was cute.
But getting there? Such. A. Bore.
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Faith is a psychology student fascinated by true crime, but one case has become impossible to ignore: Zane Valeheart, a convicted killer imprisoned for murdering his own family. Wanting to understand the mind behind the monster, Faith reaches out to study him—but their conversations quickly turn into something much darker and more obsessive.
What do you mean this is a trilogy and only the first book is out?!
Anyway, this book is WILD. I didn’t understand Faith half the time, and Zane being this hot had me wanting him to be innocent too. The bottle scene? Absolutely not my thing. The shadow-on-the-wall scene though… interestingly good. Minus the bottle, thanks. I also loved that it’s set in October, but unfortunately, I had that feeling of reading just so I could finish it and move on to something else.The premise is actually really good—he’s in prison for murder while she’s basically fangirling over him and wants to study him. In real life? Sick. In fiction? I’m listening. But something was missing. It’s also SO long, especially considering this is only the first book in a trilogy. Zane didn’t really do it for me either. He’s narcissistic, obsessive and honestly kind of the worst. And Faith constantly saying no but still staying there for him? Not my dynamic.
Unfortunately, I DNF’d at 60%. It became boring, nothing was really happening, and the writing was way too descriptive for me. The idea had potential, but compared to the kind of dark romance I love—Rina Kent, for example—it just didn’t hit the same. I deserve better than forcing myself through another 40% just because I already started it.
Have you read it? What did you think?
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I actually DNF’d Serenity Falls the first time around. The beginning felt weirdly like a sitcom, and I just wasn’t in the mood for it. But then something annoying happened: I kept thinking about it. During these ridiculously hot days of mid-September, my brain kept wandering back to Serenity Falls—the dead body in the pool, the creepy little town where everything is supposedly perfect—and I realized the book had clearly intrigued me more than I wanted to admit. With spooky season basically knocking at the door and the autumn equinox tomorrow, it felt like the perfect time to give it another chance. So, here we are. Restarted.
Dan and his daughter Sadie leave the UK behind for a fresh start in Serenity Falls, an idyllic American town where crime basically doesn’t exist and families are supposed to live happily ever after. Cute. Suspicious already. Then they find a dead body in their swimming pool.
Suddenly, Serenity Falls starts feeling a lot less perfect. Houses sit abandoned after their owners seemingly vanished overnight, a mysterious woman keeps putting up missing posters for a child who supposedly drowned twenty-five years ago, and an ice cream van drives through town at night… apparently checking that everyone is asleep.
Things get even stranger when Sadie finds the missing child’s grave and notices that his is the only one without flowers. Everyone claims Serena—Serenity Falls’ famous “mascot” and the boy’s mother—left town because she couldn’t cope with the grief. Sadie isn’t buying it. Neither am I. She thinks Serena died. Personally? I think someone killed her. With the town’s fiftieth anniversary approaching, Dan and Sadie begin to realize that Serenity Falls may have been built on something much darker than anyone wants them to know. So what really happened here twenty-five years ago—and how far will someone go to keep the perfect town’s secrets buried?
Okay, this book is actually insane. Most of the story follows Dan, with only occasional chapters from Sadie, but we also get these little glimpses into the lives of former Serenity Falls residents. There are quite a few POVs, which normally might annoy me, except there’s something so creepy about them here: I’m pretty sure every single past perspective we’re reading belongs to someone who is already dead. I don’t think I’ve ever read a book that does that quite like this, and I kind of love it. At this point, I’m suspicious of absolutely everyone and everything. I’m well past halfway through and somehow the mystery still refuses to give itself away. Every time I think I’ve figured out what Serenity Falls actually is, something else happens and I’m back to questioning everything. My current unhinged theory? Dan and Sadie are either in some version of hell… or they’re already dead too. But the question I cannot get past is Dan’s mother. Why would she send him to Serenity Falls if she knew what this place really was—and, presumably, managed to escape it herself? Interesting. Very interesting. And way too many unanswered questions.
UPDATE: Never mind. 😭
This book was wayyyyy too long. The twists were good and the actual story was interesting enough, but by the end, the length completely killed it for me. There’s a really fun, creepy mystery buried in here, but it did not need nearly 400 pages to tell it. By the last stretch, I wasn’t desperate to know what happened anymore—I was desperate for it to end.
Honestly? I would’ve been perfectly happy if someone had just sat me down, told me the entire plot and all the twists, and saved me the reading time. Which, considering I DNF’d it once already, probably should’ve told me everything I needed to know. 💀
autumn reads, book blog, book blogger, book recommendations, book review, books, C.J. Tudor, creepy books, creepy small town, dark reads, fall reading, mystery books, mystery thriller, psychological thriller, reading, Serenity Falls, small town mystery, spooky reads, spooky season reads, suspense, thriller, thriller books -
Ophelia Winters doesn’t belong at Sorrowsong University, an elite school hidden in the Scottish Highlands where power, money, and secrets rule everything. But her scholarship gives her exactly what she came for: the chance to investigate the mysterious “accidental” deaths of her parents. Her prime suspect? A powerful billionaire whose son, Alex Corbeau-Green, happens to be one of Sorrowsong’s most mysterious students—and the last person Ophelia wants to trust. But when someone begins stalking her and the danger turns deadly, Alex becomes her unexpected ally… and even her alibi for murder. The problem? The closer Ophelia gets to the truth, the closer she gets to Alex—and falling for the son of the man she plans to destroy was never part of her revenge.
What happens when getting justice means destroying the person you’re starting to love?
I genuinely didn’t expect Nightshade to get me like this. I love dark academia mixed with romance, but usually the mystery and the sex are what win me over in a book, so I wasn’t completely sure about this one at first. Somehow, though, I got sucked into Sorrowsong University pretty quickly. It didn’t even feel as long as I expected it to, and then I found out there’s a second book? Okay, wow. We’re doing this.
I have to say, though, I’m not Ophelia’s biggest fan. Obviously I haven’t lived through her trauma, but GIRL, I would’ve given Alex a little more attention—or at least tried to get to know the man better. Because excuse me??? He’s ridiculously hot, genuinely kind, already takes care of his mother and SIX sisters, and somehow still has enough love left in him to want to take care of Ophelia too. Gosh, I would be delighted. Meanwhile, I reached around 60% of the book and we still had basically nothing sexual happening, and the worst part is that it wasn’t even Alex’s fault. That’s just sad, sincerely. I liked him so much.
But God, this book ended up being so cute. The Christmas part especially got me—the festive atmosphere mixed with the Scottish Highlands and that dark academia setting was everything. It had that cozy, gothic university feeling I wanted, with secrets and danger lurking underneath all the pretty scenery, and I absolutely ate it up. The actual plot and mystery didn’t necessarily keep me on the edge of my seat as much as Ophelia and Alex did, but the suspense was sprinkled throughout at just the right moments, so I was never bored.
Apparently this is marketed as YA, which honestly explains a lot because I kept sitting there thinking, can we make this darker? Can Alex and Ophelia please do something?? I would’ve loved for it to lean much harder into dark romance, with more tension and definitely more spice, but even without that, this was so damn good. Dark academia, murder, revenge, romance, Christmas in the Scottish Highlands, a hot man with a heart of gold… yeah, it worked on me.
And just so you know, there is a cliffhanger. BUT part two is already out, so all is well in the world. Would I have liked Nightshade to be darker and spicier? Absolutely. Did I still have a ridiculously good time reading it? Yep. Alex Corbeau-Green, you have my attention.
